Prompt: “Lies will follow”
Jamie had enjoyed being gatekeeper of their finances, transferring funds to and fro, orchestrating an elaborate dance of charging to one credit card, consolidating it on another to hit up the 0% interest deal, then sliding one cool hand into savings to pay it off while the unsuspecting husband did not notice the missing bank statement.
Shame, really, when her shopping craze severed her lifeline in an auto accident in the CostCo parking lot. The officer admitted he rarely sees fatalities in parking lots, but Jamie’s elephant-sized shopping cart budded heads with a Ford Explorer, and that was that - a limp suburban wife lifeless among her five-foot boxes of cereal and milk and 20-lb. humidifier she aquired for only $19.99.
“Jeff speaking, Landview mortgage.”
“Hi sir, this is Jonathan Sail, police chief at the Phoenix Police Department. I’m afraid we need to see you at the station.”
“Ha ha,” Jeff snickered. “This isn’t a call from Phoenix – you are in Bangladore, admit it!! You don’t fool me. And I’m not donating to your police association either, even if you weren’t outsourcing…”
Jeff slammed the phone down and aggressively pushed the “Do Not Disturb” feature on his phone. Little did he know that his apple-cheek wife was being carted off the Costco lot, that the flashing light of police cars even outrivaled the store Christmas decorations and some chum with his 26-ounce Coke and footlong hotdog sighed, “Dude, this is intense,” as he padded his weiner with relish.
It wasn’t until Jeff entered his dark apartment when a foreboring feeling smacked his gut. The usual smell of mac and cheese or pizza pockets was absent. He did notice, however, in plain view on the kitchen table, an enveloped addressed to his dear wife.
“Jamie has an account at Bank of America? I’ll be damned!”
